Some great resources to also assist you are American Academy of Pediatrics and the Healthy Children website where you can find articles, common health issues among children, information on growth stages, and much more.

Remember to keep in mind what feels right for you. One doctor might be a good fit for someone else’s child but not your own. Weigh your options and get to know the doctors before making a decision. For more tips check out these sites:

• Finding a Good Pediatrician in Any Town
• Choosing a Doctor for Your New Baby

From this quote grew the name Red Thread and its connection to adoption. Red Thread Sessions, an organization that provides complimentary photography services to adoptive families, was created in 2011 by two photographers who had gone through the adoption process themselves. Gradually, photographers across the country started to volunteer their services. The photographers involved see it as an opportunity to capture the unique emotions involved in adoption.

To qualify for a Red Thread Session your adoption must be not be more than three months post-finalization. There are three types of sessions: family portrait, homecoming session, birth photography. Visit their website for more information.

Here is a list of Red Thread Session Photographers.

If you decide to take advantage of this wonderful service, please share your photos on IAC’s Facebook Page, or send us the digital files for inclusion on our blog. Don’t’ forget to credit your generous photographer!

A few red flags there, right? But Melanie had confessed excitedly to her husband that she thought this was “the one.” Her adoption counselor gently explained what was going on. Melanie was disappointed, but she felt like the experience was a rite of passage.

Flash forward to the next support group meeting. Melanie and Tim had been contacted by two more scammers. This time they were more cautious, and the group joked about how, soon, they’d be picking up the phone and snapping “Whaddayuhwant?”

By this point, Cecilia’s and my profile had gone live, and I’d been checking the Gmail account we’d linked to it every day. All we had to show for our efforts was one piece of spam. Not an adoption scam—just regular old Viagra spam.

Everyone says that the longer you wait, the more you’ll start wondering, What’s wrong with us? Why are other people adopting before we do? What I didn’t expect was to envy people who’d been contacted by a fake birthmother.

Melanie and Tim are an attractive couple with a witty profile. Were Cecilia and I not cute enough? Were our Halloween costume photos not as cool as Melanie and Tim’s? Did our profile make us seem poor, and therefore bad targets for extortion?

A few weeks later, our lonely little inbox had an email with the subject line “bady for adoption.” I’d been hoping for a baby, but hey, maybe a bady would do. The emailer explained that she’d gotten pregnant and been dumped by her boyfriend. She’d given birth already (red flag #1) and was currently living in the street, but wanted to go back to school. She didn’t give any specifics about her daughter (red flag #2) or say anything about what drew her to our profile (red flag #3) or ask any questions (red flag #4—but maybe some people are just rude?).

As a finishing touch, she’d attached two baby photos that appeared to be lifted straight from a JC Penney catalog. You could even see that some kind of logo had been half cropped from the bottom (giant, enormous, comical red flag).

But, well, the baby was really cute. As most child models are.

I did what I was supposed to do: I sent a short, polite reply empathizing with her situation and encouraging her to call the IAC; forwarded the email to our adoption counselor; and notified an intake counselor. I congratulated myself on not getting fooled, even as a tiny part of me hoped that soon we’d be laughing with our birthmother about how we’d initially mistaken her email for a scam. We would bounce our insta-baby and discuss putting the money from her JC Penney shoot in a college savings account.

It’s been a week since that email, and I haven’t heard back from the alleged expectant mother, so I guess she’s moved on. I was sort of hoping she would email back, if only to ask us to wire her money for tuition. I guess I liked playing the part of actual adoptive parent as much as she liked pretending to have a baby for us.

Next time, I hope neither we nor the woman contacting us will be just going through the motions. In the meantime, I’ll comfort myself with the knowledge that our profile is out there in the world—where, as every parent knows, all sorts of good and bad realities await.

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Letter from the Editor: In celebration of the new year, this issue of Open Adoption offers stories of both reflection and hope. On page one, you will find a collage of IAC’s newest families, followed by exciting announcements on page two, including the Holiday Card Contest Winner. We also reveal the look of our new and improved website set to take affect in late January. For a closer look, visit adoptionhelp.org.

On page three an adoptive mother reflects on the first six months of parenthood. What begins as an unsettling hospital experience, evolves into an inspirational story of lasting bonds and life lessons.

Our feature article, on page five, is an informal discussion between an adoptive mother and father on transracial adoption. They speak from personal experience rather than expertise, and the honesty and sensitivity of their conversation is refreshing.

On page eight, we feature a class assignment by six-year-old Sophia, who wrote a beautiful depiction of her family. On page nine, get to know Ashley Garrison, the Open Adoption Counselor in Atlanta, Georgia.

On page ten, hear from resident expert Kathleen Silber as she explains how to address adoption at different ages. As always, the final pages contain up-to-date birthparent statistics and upcoming support group dates. Enjoy!

– Ann Wrixon, MSW, MBA, Executive Director

Finding the right baby furniture for your child is very important and finding quality furniture at a decent price can be a hassle. But getting started early will help you sift through all the products and find the best furniture for your child. Before you get started on buying anything read, “How to buy a safe crib” for safety tips and what to look for when buying a crib. Safety and versatility are two of the most important things to look for when buying baby furniture. Most cribs range from $100-$500, but if you’re looking for something fancy, the price can reach $1,000.

Before you start shopping you can also check out Baby’s Dream Furniture where you can:

• Visualize your child’s nursery using a virtual nursery planner
• Get a free 36 page nursery guide
• Pick out wall decals
• Get ideas from real nurseries
• And shop when you are ready!

Here are some other places to browse for furniture:
For bargain shoppers:

• Target
• Ikea
• Simply Baby Furniture
• Overstock
• Cribs

For the high end traditionalists:

• Pottery Barn
• Restoration Hardware

For modernistas:

• Posh Tots
• Land of Nod
• Coochicoos

Happy shopping!

Regardless of what you name your child, you will love he/she unconditionally. But picking out a name is one of the most exciting things to do before your child arrives! It’s a way to create a meaningful connection, whether it be familial, personally sentimental, or inspired by the birth family. Babyhold.com is a great resource to search baby names based on family origin, famous names, unique names, as well as many other categories.

Here are some more sites to get ideas:

BabyZone: They have celebrity baby names, as well as other names you can search with origin and meaning

MomsWhoThink: Provides baby names with tips, and also the top baby names for each decade as far back as 1880!

babycenter: This site lets you search baby names by gender, popularity, syllables, what you want it to start or end with, origin, or by meaning! Very useful!

Make the naming process fun! Think outside the box. If you get frustrated coming to a decision, consult the Name Inventor. It’s sure to make you laugh!

Barbara’s son, Andrew Potter and his husband Michael Virata are seeking an open adoption through the Independent Adoption Center.

Parenting.com’s Celebrity Kids Parents Blog featured an in-depth story by celebrity gay dads, Bill Horn and Scout Masterson. They explain why they chose open adoption over surrogacy or closed adoption and how adoption fits into their daily lives. They also describe their hospital experience as gay adoptive dads in a small catholic hospital. Read the full story on the Parenting.com blog.