Open Adoption Blog

Destiny Fulfilled: Single Woman Becomes an Adoptive Mother

By IAC | Published 12/19/2011

Darlene recently adopted a newborn baby girl through the IAC after a 37 month wait. Her story of perseverance is told in a two part series in the San Ramon Patch. Part one, published today, details what led her to adoption in the first place. Part two, coming out tomorrow, will chart her struggles and her endurance on her journey to motherhood. Read part one of this inspiring two part series by Sarah Frank, “Triumph Over Tragedy: Wanting to Become a Mom.”

Leave a comment

Through Your Child’s Eyes: Create an Adoption Life Book

By IAC | Published 12/15/2011

Creating an adoption life book is a great way to capture the entire story of your child’s adoption, from the phone call or match meeting, to the day you brought him/her home. A life book is essentially a scrapbook created through the eyes of your child. A life book is a visual depiction of your child’s birth story that will always reminder them of who he/she is and where he/she came from.

A life book is useful because:

  • It helps establish a bond between you are your child;
  • Being able to visualize the story, helps your child understand his/her adoption;
  • It will be a lifelong momento.

Before you begin creating this important family keepsake, find some inspiration. Creating Keepsakes is a good place to start.

Here are a few websites that sell scrapbook supplies:

http://www.creativememories.com/

http://www.paper-source.com/

Nowadays there are even resources for creating printable or digital scrapbooks! Scrapblog takes advantage of drag and drop technology, making design and sharing easy and fun.

For a list of the best software and online scrapbooking tools view this list.

IAC would love to see your creativity at work! Please feel free to share your masterpieces on our Facebook page. Happy life book creating!

Leave a comment

Opening Our Hearts to Open Adoption

By amason | Published 12/07/2011

I truly believe that one of the biggest reasons I am on this Earth is to be a mom. As the oldest of five children, I grew up nurturing and protecting my younger siblings. Now, as a kindergarten teacher, my days are filled with hugs and Band-Aids.

It wasn’t long after Scott and I met, that we realized we wanted to become parents together. We started making baby name lists before we were even engaged!

Shortly after we were married, we decided to embark on our greatest journey yet; raising a family. We both believed in adoption as a great way to start a family, but as a young couple in our early twenties, we wanted to try and conceive and experience a pregnancy of our own. We couldn’t wait to meet our little bundle of joy!

Fast forward eight years, two pregnancy losses, and countless visits with the doctor, we found ourselves at a crossroads. We had the option to continue exploring the causes of our infertility and losses, or we could opt for in vitro. These avenues were expensive and neither could guarantee that we would become parents. With the possibility of more disappointment, heartache, and loss, we decided not to pursue any of those options.

That’s when we revisited the idea of adoption. We discussed adoption with our families and with each other, and realized that adoption was 100%. It was not a guessing game. It was more about having patience, unconditional love, and an overwhelming desire to be a mom and dad. The decision to adopt put us back on the road to parenthood. Continue reading »

3 Comments

Toys for Tots at IAC in Pleasant Hill

By Amalia Gratteri | Published 12/01/2011

Our office in Pleasant Hill is supporting the Toys for Tots program by being a drop-off site for Contra Costa County. The mission of the Toys for Tots program is to collect new toys during the months of October, November and December and distribute the unwrapped toys as Christmas gifts to needy children in the community.  The program is organized by the non-profit veteran’s organization Delta Diablo Det. 1155, Marine Corps League.

For more information about the program or to find other areas near you visit: http://www.ccctoydrive.org/ Join in this season and make a difference in the life of a child!

We’re open from 9am-5pm.
391 Taylor Blvd, Suite 100, Pleasant Hill, CA 94109

Leave a comment

Ten Things Adoptive Parents and Birthmoms Have in Common

By cklein | Published 11/30/2011

When Cecilia and I decided to go the open adoption route, we knew that part of the adventure would be getting to know the birthmother who chose us. But after feeling like a human science experiment while undergoing fertility treatment and subsequently miscarrying twins, my usually strong self-esteem took a nosedive. Every time the IAC counselors talked about the importance of empathizing with and honoring the birthmother, I felt smaller and smaller. I pictured this hypothetical birthmother as fertile and glowing; clearly everyone thought she was so special. And since she was carrying our child, she had all the power.

After processing my own grief a little more and reading testimonials by birthmothers—their pain sometimes leaping off my computer screen—I started to think about what our hypothetical birthmom might have in common with me. So here’s my list, in the form of a very different kind of Dear Birthmother letter.

1. We know that life is unpredictable. I wanted to be pregnant. You wanted not to be. Neither of us got our way, and I’m guessing that we both felt frustrated by the lack of control we had over our own bodies.

2. We have big plans for the future. Cecilia and I daydream about introducing our parents to their first grandkid, reading her Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus, or helping him with college applications. Maybe you want to go back to school, or devote more time to the child(ren) you already have, or start your own business. Either way, we’re the kind of people who think ahead. You and I are not goofballs who get thrashed in the currents of life. We look out for those waves and grab our surfboards.

3. We’re terrified. You’re probably thinking, Can I really trust these people to raise my baby? What if they don’t honor our contact agreement? Not to mention, Oh my god, a live human being is going to come out of my body at some point. We’re thinking, What if she changes her mind at the last minute? What if she doesn’t stay in touch and our child wonders why? What if there are complications with the birth? We’re both taking a leap of faith. Continue reading »

9 Comments

Midlife Parenting

By ksuchy | Published 11/23/2011

My name is Kelli Suchy and I am honored to be a guest blogger here. I am a Domestic Open Adoption Coach and a midlife adoptive mom. Midlife motherhood is a topic near and dear to my heart because the birth of my daughter, Ariel Faith, came six days after I turned 45. (We have wonderful birth mom to thank for that.)

Did I plan to have a child at this particular juncture in my life? In all honesty, no. I married my husband when I was 39 and tried to have a child right away. Add on six years, or six IVF cycles with two pregnancy losses, before my lifelong dreams of motherhood finally came true.

I am frequently asked by clients and others what it is like to become a mother at midlife. I explain, frankly, that I haven’t experienced it any other way. Ariel is my one and only child. I also explain that motherhood, no matter when it enters your life, will offer benefits and challenges.

Benefits:

  • I was ready to be selfless. Ariel arrived when I was very ready, maybe more than ready, to be a mother. Some of the things I had accomplished in my twenties and thirties would have been very difficult with the responsibility of a child.
  • I gained patience. Looking back on my younger self, I was not always the very patient person that I am now. Not only is my newfound patience very handy in raising my own child, it also comes in handy volunteering in my daughter’s second grade class with 29 other seven-year-olds.
  • I learned to be transparent. In 40 years I learned a great deal about nurturing healthy relationships and what does and doesn’t work. If Ariel has a question, I always answer her and with complete honesty. This open and interactive dialogue we share enables her to trust me.

    • Continue reading »

3 Comments

Celebrity “Guncles” Reach Out to Prospective Adoptive Parents

By Erin Grimm | Published 11/16/2011

New dads, Scout Masterson & Bill Horn, also known as, The Guncles, on Oxygen’s hit reality show, “Tori & Dean Home Sweet Hollywood” have started an adoption mentoring service called “Hold My Hand” to answer questions prospective parents have concerning adoption and parenting.

Scout and Bill adopted their daughter, Simone, just over a year ago into an open adoption through the Independent Adoption Center. Their personal experience was so positive that they decided they wanted to turn all the questions they were fielding into something more official. “Hold My Hand” was born to help hopeful parents with everything from social media outreach to nursery decorating tips. They don’t claim to be experts, but want to make an impact, “We’re not social workers or trained professionals, we’re two Dads who have been through the adoption process and want to help others through theirs.” Read more about The Guncles and their adoption mentoring service on Celebrity Baby Scoop.

Leave a comment

America Adopts! An Open Adoption Meeting Place

By Amalia Gratteri | Published 11/09/2011

is a brand new resource for families pursuing open adoption. America Adopts! functions as a meeting place, offering various services that help prospective adoptive parents put their best foot forward as they reach out to potential birthparents.

America Adopts! primary service allows prospective adoptive parents to create a four page adoption profile. Writing and networking services are also available at affordable rates. For more information on the services available visit Why America Adopts!?

As an introductory offer good through November 21, the Adoption Profile Service is only $95 for the first month (including set-up) and $25 each additional month. A portion of the proceeds will go to the Dave Thomas Foundation For Adoption.

IAC clients, Amy & Chris, from Athens, GA have already taken advantage of this opportunity. If you are interested in registering, visit: How to Register.

Leave a comment

Pleasant Hill Halloween Costume Contest Winner Revealed!

By IAC | Published 11/07/2011

Announcing our winner for the 2011 Halloween costume contest, undefeated for more than a decade: Hillbilly, Lyn Dawn! When not in costume, Lyn Dawn is the IAC’s Agency Services Manager. Watch her victory song & dance below:

To learn more about this hillbilly, read the Summer 2011 issue of Open Adoption. Visit our Facebook page for a photo of her dog, Ivan who also participated in the contest.

Leave a comment

Adoption is Like Fishing

By lstigner | Published 11/02/2011

My husband and I are currently in the waiting stage of our adoption. Oddly enough, it was fishing that helped me put the adoption wait into perspective. Here is my insight…

Decisions, Decisions
A positive outcome comes from preparation. In fishing, preparing involves making decisions. First you have to decide what to fish for. Then you must ensure that you have the right gear, the best pole, and the correct weight of line. Just like fishing, adopting a baby involves decisions. You have to decide what type of adoption is right for you. Hours are spent googling adoption, gathering facts, reading articles and forums, slowly making your decision based on what is best for your family. Attending the IAC’s Adoption Information Session is often the final step of the decision-making process. In choosing open adoption and the IAC, hope is born.

Setting Up Your Equipment
When you arrive at the fishing hole, you must set up your equipment. If you’ve been fishing before you well know that this flurry of activity can take some time. First you have to set up your pole: Tie a fishing knot, attach the rigging, determine how much weight you’ll need to attach to your line, and choose the right size hook. The first phase of your adoption is strangely similar. Like setting up your fishing line, there are steps that must take place before you begin: Pass the Home Study, write your Dear Birthmother Letter, take a perfect profile photo, and arrange an online adoption profile. As in fishing, these steps require great care and cannot be rushed.

Completing the set-up process is an exciting feeling. In fishing, it is the feeling of your fishing line singing through the air in a perfect arc on your initial cast; in adoption it is the sudden, sharp thrill you feel when you receive the email telling you your file is approved and that your profile will now be visible to potential birthmothers.

The Wait
When fishing, hours might pass without a bite. In adoption, weeks and months might pass without an email, a call, a visit. But you have to be patient knowing that what you long for is out there and that it will come in it’s own sweet time. Just as in fishing, there might even be some false starts or disappointments. The trick is to stay the course, enjoy the process and embrace the wait. Because…

The Outcome
It finally happens. You catch a fish, you bring your baby home. You realize that at every moment, you were right where you were supposed to be.

Get to know us better by visiting our I Heart Adoption Profile, http://www.iheartadoption.org/users/hyser-stigner

3 Comments
Subscribe

Copyright 2010 Independent Adoption Center. All Rights Reserved.

Powered by WordPress